Some days I forget what I like.
I’ll stand in the kitchen, stirring something I don’t even want to eat, with a child yelling in the background, and suddenly wonder: When was the last time I did something just because I wanted to?
Motherhood (parenthood) is a blessing. It’s also relentless. And in the middle of the schedules and spills and sleep deprivation, it’s easy to feel like you’re vanishing. Not just tired, gone.
Nobody really prepares you for that part.
They talk about the glow, the bond, the miracle. But not the slow erosion of identity, the grief of who you used to be, or the fight to become someone new when you barely have the energy to be anyone at all.
This is the side of personal development for moms no one puts on Pinterest.
You Can Love Your Kids and Still Miss Yourself
There’s this quiet shame that creeps in when you start to admit you want more. Like you’re ungrateful. Like motherhood should be enough.
But I think we need to normalize this: You can love your child more than anything and still miss the parts of you that got left behind.
The version of you that read books without falling asleep.
The version that had opinions, hobbies, passions.
The version that wasn’t constantly needed.
That version of you isn’t gone, she’s just buried under the noise.
Growth Doesn’t Look Like It Used To
Before motherhood, personal development might’ve looked like journals, morning routines, books, podcasts, travel, workouts, deep work. Now, growth looks different.
- Saying “no” without guilt.
- Letting yourself cry without cleaning it up right away.
- Asking for help even though you’re used to doing everything yourself.
- Saying, “I need a break” without apologizing.
- Starting a new project and not finishing it, but starting anyway.
It’s not glamorous, but it’s growth.
There’s power in the small decisions. The quiet rebellions. The refusal to disappear completely.
You’re Not Failing, You’re Rebuilding
It’s easy to feel behind when everyone else seems to be leveling up their careers or building their brands while you’re just trying to get through the day. But comparison is a lie.
Your path is slower because you’re carrying more. You’re not failing. You’re rebuilding, on a foundation that’s shifting every day.
Personal development for moms doesn’t mean becoming your “best self” overnight. It means learning how to become any version of yourself in the midst of chaos.
And that takes guts.
How to Start Finding Yourself Again (Even in the Mess)
If you feel like you’re disappearing, here are a few things that have helped me reconnect with myself:
1. Claim 15 Minutes
Not for chores. Not for planning. Just 15 minutes for you. Sit, breathe, write, listen to music you actually like. You’d be amazed what a few uninterrupted minutes can do.
2. Say the Thing You’re Afraid to Say
Tell someone you feel lost. Say it out loud. That crack of honesty might be the beginning of your return.
3. Create Something
Even if it’s bad. A note, a doodle, a half-finished poem. You’re still a creative being. You don’t need an audience. You just need a little space.
4. Stop Waiting for the Perfect Time
There won’t be one. Do the thing now, even if you do it half-assed. Especially if you do it half-assed. It still counts.
You’re Still Here
Even if it feels like you’ve disappeared, you haven’t.
You’re in the quiet decisions, the invisible strength, the blurry mirror reflection. You’re still growing. Still blooming. Even in the dark.
So if no one’s told you lately: You’re doing better than you think. You’re allowed to want more. You’re still becoming, especially on the days it feels like you’re not.
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